We are the first couple in Catholic Charities history to ever experience 3 change of hearts. We now hold the record for the state of Colorado.
Stick a fork in us we are done!!
Take care and have a great day!!!!
My sister-in-law knew of someone who adopted in Florida (numerous times). Evidently they have a tough time finding homes for a certain race of baby there. I can't even begin to tell you how crazy that makes me!!
After speaking with a social worker down there who is contracted by Bethany services, we found out some basic information. Here in Colorado, most of the kids coming up for adoption have birthmoms who abuse drugs and alcohol. In Florida it's different. There, the white birthmoms usually abuse substances, but the African American and Latino birthmoms take good care of themselves because they don't want to harm the babies. She was surprised when she heard we were having such a tough time, but when she found out we didn't care about race, and we have been through the entire process already, she thought there would be no problem finding a birthmom for us. She actually had 2 in mind. This opened a whole new door....... so we thought.
So, I made a few calls and sent a few emails. It turns out that Bethany wont work with us unless we start over from scratch with them (which meant us losing several thousand dollars). The tough part......we actually couldn't get them to tell us this outright...... instead they just strung us along for a week or two and then just stopped returning phone calls. That says a lot about their ethics and sent up a BUNCH of red flags.
All this research was happening around the time of our annual review, which we were just going to skip since we pulled our book anyway. But... we found out that our social worker just took our book out of circulation and never closed our profile, so technically we were still ok. We did our annual review and updated our adoption book. During our review we found out some of the reasons we weren't chosen by birthmoms in the past. Evidently a misspelled word and other such non-important things were cause for worry with some birthmoms. They expected perfection, which we are not and will never claim to be.
Anyway, our social worker called the 3 Catholic Charities offices in Florida to see what they could do about the situation down there, but unfortunately, they never returned her calls. She also sent a letter to the National Office to see what we could open up between states.
So we are open again, but not expecting much. Our profile is very honest as are our letters. We haven't sugar coated anything because we want to make sure birthmom knows who we really are, flaws and all. Birthmom's deserve to know the truth about who their child will be with. I've seen several other profiles that are VERY sugar coated and rosy, but we just don't feel comfortable creating that sort of "image" because it's just not honest.
There is one other option..... we could hire a private lawyer to help us adopt a child in Florida. The only thing is we will have to pay for all of birthmom's expenses including clothes, rent, medical, food, and anything else she wants. After all of that she could still change her mind. The last 2 times birthmom's changed their minds, we only lost a grand or so. But if this happened in Florida, we could lose twenty to thirty grand. That would put an end to any further attempts at adoption. I hate to say it but having to adopt really sucks!